“I’m Not Shaking Anymore…”

I am shaking with cold, and sweating, at the same time. It makes it difficult to type, (particularly since I am a two-fingered typist to begin with).

I’m not ill, nor do I have the flu; it is a “fear” response. And what is it that is so frightening? The incredibly strong emotion of compassion, and the fear that it will consume me and leave me crumpled in a ball in a corner somewhere, sobbing uncontrollably, if I allow it to come forth. It goes against all of my conditioning, all of what I was raised to understand being a “man” was, to feel this way – and show it.

Just two days ago, I was speaking with a good friend, and often spiritual mentor, and I told him that, truthfully, I just wasn’t a compassionate person. I said that I wanted to be one, but I was the “wow, that’s a tough break” Buddha much more than I was the iconic image of the “Medicine Buddha” that I was holding in my hand. That was a lie.

No one has to “learn” how to be compassionate; it is already within. What must be learned is how to stop fighting its expression by our own selfishness.

As I sit here, in a public place, contemplating compassion, (and how I am not compassionate), a young boy was led in by his mother. I would guess his age to be around 8 or 9 years old. He is afflicted with some type of disorder…I believe it to be blindness, or near total blindness. I find that I am overcome with emotion to help him, and tears well up in my eyes. I quickly divert my attention and hope no one notices my “episode.”

He was with his mother, loved and cared for, but “healing” him was all that I wanted to do…and I was powerless. No healing “magic” flowed through me, or radiated from me, to alter his physical state in any way. Now that I think about it, maybe it was he who healed me…by pulling from me, and showing me, that I was, in fact, compassionate.

It’s laughable, really. I said that I was not a compassionate person, and it turns out that not only am I compassionate, but that my compassion is so strong that it is more than I can bear; it is greater than I can physically process. My empathy is a raging torrent that I have determined must be totally squelched in order to survive, in order to keep from being that “crumpled, sobbing ball” that I wrote of above.

How can one be the pure compassion of I AM, which we all are, and still function in a world that holds so much suffering? What a question to ponder.

The mind and ego warn that I would be totally “naked” to an advantage-seeking world if I were to allow these feelings to manifest. The world around me, in my mind, well…that sort of compassion is a minority. But isn’t that he point? Isn’t that why people wait at the feet of the Dalai Lama? Isn’t that why people were inexorably drawn to Jesus and the Buddha? Isn’t the idea to, one person at a time, have compassion and love be in the majority? Yes, that IS the whole point.

Today, what I shared here in this forum was very personal. I was going to hide it, and keep it safely hidden, but I have made it public instead…pulling my ego, kicking and screaming all the way. And I’m not shaking anymore.

Many Blessings To All…

“News Feeds and Cotton Candy…”

I took a moment to glance at what was said to be the “top blogs” of the day today, and found it to be disappointing. Not necessarily surprising, but disappointing. The most popular blogs were news feeds from major TV network affiliates, and blogs devoted to pop culture and gossip – what I referred to as “Cotton Candy.”

I can appreciate the fact that I am advancing toward, (well, reached, actually), that age where I am no longer relevant to the driving force of popular trends and culture…a nice way of saying “I’m getting old.” That doesn’t concern me too much, and I am perfectly OK with being “out-of-touch” if, by that, it means that I am not interested in gossip and, even worse, the news.

Yes, I have a problem with what we call “the news,” no matter which network it happens to be coming from. It is invariably presented in such a way that an editorial and/or political “agenda” is advanced, and it tends to wallow in any misery or negative report that can be found. Very little in the way of real objectivity will be displayed, most of the time.

That’s a big deal, because those who choose to take their “information meals” from this source are receiving more of an indoctrination into a planned mindset than they are hearing facts. It’s pretty convenient, though, because it allows them the freedom of not having to do any of their own thinking.

Now, all of this really wouldn’t matter to me except for one, much-ballyhooed idea – which probably sprang from these same media outlets – that today’s young people are some of the most planet-friendly, spiritually conscious and aware that we have seen for generations. And, we know that blogs, and tweets, and social media, was/is primarily driven by young people. It has also been promulgated that the “Baby-boomers” are flowering in much the same way.

So, where are they, and what are they reading, saying, doing?

Is it possible that the media, in an effort to be more “positive,” has made the decision to pay attention to some of these more enlightened and compassionate souls, and we, as a population, have assumed from this that there has been a dramatic “shift” in attitudes? Is it possible that there really hasn’t been much change in the number of people seeking a greater Truth?

I don’t know that answer, but I would like to know. If these people are “lying low,” I would ask them to come forth and share what they have been given. This world needs compassionate, loving young people, (and older people, too), to speak out, from their hearts, and help lead us all to a more peaceful future.

My desire is to see these spiritual seekers, these advancing beings, come out of hiding and into the light – where we can see them, and hear and read their words. Wouldn’t it be nice if the most popular blog was about love  compassion, and how to live it and be it. That is my dream.

Many Blessings To All…

 

“The Lesson of the Stone…”

Not today.

Today, I am as mute as the rather large stone that I was just holding in my hand; no “message” waiting to come out that I am aware of, (at least not yet).

Ironically, if this stone could speak in such a way that I could “hear” it, the horrors that it could tell would doubtless chill my blood. This stone to which I am referring has little visual charm to recommend it – it is mostly a grayish granite, with some inclusions of milky quartz, and a few tiny spots of deep red…perhaps traces of Garnet. But it was there. And where is “there?”

This stone came from the Wilderness Battlefield in Virginia, site of one of the bloodiest, chaotic and brutal battles of the American Civil War. It was in the woods near Saunders Field, (where the grisly affair began), in the vicinity of where Confederate General John B. Gordon launched his flank attack as evening approached on that first day. This stone was there that day.

“The Wilderness” was so named for an obvious reason – it was a wilderness – but not just any wilderness. It was second and third growth timber, thick with brambles and thorns, and on the best of days one could easily become lost. Visibility didn’t extend very far, and sounds were masked by the dense growth. Add to this a dry summer, and the muzzle flashes of thousands of black powder weapons, and you get an inferno. If ever a place or a time could fairly be called a “hell on earth,” I suspect that this place in May of 1864 would qualify.

There is no accurate record of how many wounded met their end because they could not escape the flames from the many fires that were started by muzzle blasts, but it was a large and tragic number. Units became lost, couldn’t hear their commanders, and the smoke made what was already a practically impenetrable morass of thickets and scrub trees even more foreboding. And through it all, this stone was there.

It was probably part of a much bigger rock in 1864, since weathered and broken into many pieces. If it could talk, I think perhaps I would beg it to hold its tongue. The images it has captured might be more than I can bear.

Today, it bears no external scars. Instead, it appears decidedly peaceful and strong – unaffected. And I guess that is the “message” that I didn’t think I had.

You can survive. You can come through some of the most difficult challenges that any human can face, and be decidedly peaceful and strong when it is over. In fact, you will be decidedly peaceful and strong because of those challenges…if your perspective is clear.

Some of you may struggle emotionally during the Christmas season; MANY people do. But, like the stone, you can be a tower of strength in the midst of seeming chaos. Use your difficulties as opportunities to grow in strength and wisdom – to get to know your SELF.

Many Blessings To All…

“Do You Possess The Courage To ‘Let Them Laugh’?…”

“He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them…His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

…And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!” - from “A Christmas Carol,” by Charles Dickens

Do you have the courage to change your behavior, as Scrooge did? Can your ego risk being laughed at and ridiculed for your “foolish” generosity, and overwhelming goodness? Can you live as love, for others first, and cease to be consumed by your own life?

It is a great challenge. More than a challenge, it is the purpose of your Spirit, and the purpose of the body in which it resides. It sounds incredibly simple and, intellectually, it is. But to live it is another thing entirely.

When your “own heart laughs,” and that is “quite enough for you,” without regard for what others may think of your unbridled joy – in the face of whatever immense physical challenges you may be facing – then you are very, very close to merging with the Divine.

It is something to consider – making a decision to totally change the way that you act and think, beginning this moment. If that idea causes a lump in your throat or chest, say hello to your ego. It doesn’t like dramatic change, or not having control, or attention, and those feelings are its not-so-subtle way to keep you from doing it. But you can decide-TODAY. It’s your life…

Many Blessings To All…

“The Noble Cause…”

It is all over the Internet, and in books, and chat groups. Tons of ways that you can talk to Angels, and hang out with Celestial beings, etc. I have referred to this before as the “Metaphysical Circus.” I cannot doubt the veracity of any of these methods, or the fruits that they may or may not bring to the practitioner. But, may I offer a different suggestion?

Maybe instead of chasing after learning how to astral-travel, or how to shape-shift, or read auras, or any of the other myriad “spiritual trinkets” that can be manifested, why not devote yourself to learning what true, Divine love is, and radiate that? Why not endeavor to learn what true compassion is, and project that? Most of us can’t even comprehend Divine love and compassion. Yes, we know the words, and we know what the words mean, but we really don’t know how to live it. How does one “learn” it if one has not experienced it?

The regular, disciplined practice of Sanskrit mantra is one way. Over time, a mantra’s vibration will dissolve the impediments that keep the Divine love that you ARE from “getting out.”

Another way is to be an “actor;” to act in the manner that a compassionate, loving person would act. But not just “faking it until you make it.” No, there must be an intent that goes with the actions. One must earnestly ask the Divine for the sublime privilege of being allowed to experience the power that is behind such acts. [The most efficacious way to advance your "learning" of what true love and compassion are, I believe, is to combine mantra with the acting role].

Recall, however, that you are not a Divine expression of love and compassion just because you act that way. You are a true expression of Divine love when you are powerless to behave in any other way. No longer are you acting the part, you ARE the part; it infuses every molecule of your being.

Along the way, all of the “spiritual trinkets” will become active, but not as fun novelties that you seek for their own sake. They will activate on their own, as needed, when they are necessary for your continued growth, and when they are called for in the process of your selfless service to humanity.

If one person in a thousand were to devote themselves to this most noble cause, that of reaching within to obtain a full comprehension of Divine love and compassion, and to being THAT, above all other tasks, the world would change in such a dramatic fashion, and so quickly, that it would surpass our highest imagining.

Will you be that one-in-a-thousand?

Many Blessings To All…

“May We Be Forgiven…”

Charles Dickens’, A Christmas Carol, was first published in 1843. Amazingly, it only required six weeks of writing to produce this now well-known tale of Ebenezer Scrooge.

It was also during that same year that the first Christmas Card was introduced, and a time that marked the beginning of a shift among the populace of England toward a more “happy” idea of Christmas than the previous, more somber celebrations.

“Rise, and walk with me,” said the ghost of Christmas past, his hand out-stretched to the unrepentant Scrooge. Ebenezer did not want to go, but he could not resist.  And now, I ask you, with my hand out-stretched, to take my hand and “walk with me” for a few minutes.

Welcome to 1843.

That gnawing in your gut is not a stranger to you – you live every day in hunger. You are poor, working in a factory for an obscene number of hours each day, only to receive a trifling sum of money to provide for your home and family. And your home is drafty and cold, or unbearably hot, jammed against other homes to form a tinderbox waiting to explode. Your family lives in deprivation, and filth, and hunger – there is little that you can do. But there is Christmas.

On one day a year, if you play your cards right, and have scrimped and saved even more than you thought possible, you have a chance of leaving the dinner table with a stomach that is at least approaching satisfied.

When you gather around the table with your family, you truly ARE grateful, for one meal…for one day when you aren’t starving, for one day when you aren’t slaving for a cruel master, for one day of HOPE.

Today, there are people in the same condition, but it isn’t likely that it is one of you who is reading this. Without a single gift under the tree with your name on it, you are already blessed beyond measure.

May we be forgiven for taking for granted the  sheet that covers us, in a real bed, with a roof over our head, and enough food to eat on any given day. May we be forgiven for walking past those who have not, and for judging their condition and who they are. May we be forgiven for bitching while sitting in the midst of what would be splendor and majesty beyond belief to a Third World child. I should be upon my knees, weeping,  when I think upon the blessings that are showered upon me each and every day.

The time has come for spiritual maturity. It is time to give to those who have not, to lift them up with love in any way that we can, EVERY day. If you cannot do this, do not pretend to be celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ on December 25th, (or any other day for that matter). His entire message was to “give as I have given.” We are surely blind if we do not reach out to our fellow-man who is in desperate need; for in reaching out to them, we are reaching out to ourselves.

Many Blessings To All…

“No, He Isn’t…”

America is not a “spiritual” country. A doctrinal/religious country, maybe…but spiritual – not so much. There are a growing number of people in this country who are reaching out and seeking a spiritual life, but there is a long way to go yet.

And to further burst the “Pollyanna” bubble, Jesus is NOT the “reason for the season;” selling stuff, CAPITALISM, is the reason for the season. If you doubt that, you probably don’t have a TV or radio, (probably a good thing).

Additionally, any good bible scholar worth his/her salt could tell you that Jesus was born in the Spring, not the winter, and a  student of history could tell you that Christmas was established by the Christian (Catholic) church as a way to compete with the celebration of the Winter Solstice. This holiday, the Winter Solstice, was quite popular with the country folk of Europe, and the Church needed a way to “compete” with, and hopefully usurp it. In this, they mostly succeeded. In other words, they made it up to get some attention for their agenda.

Now, before you get your shorts in a bunch, let’s be clear: although Jesus is not the “reason for the season,” (and hasn’t been for a long time, despite all of the magnetic letters on church signs proclaiming that He is), He plays a much larger role.

Jesus is the reason for EVERYTHING, all day, every day, every month of the year. Jesus is likely the reason that, (if you were born in the West), you have even a remote conception that you are an eternal soul, and that you have an opportunity to obtain salvation from a potentially disastrous eternal outcome.

This knowledge of the eternal soul/Self was around in Eastern spiritual circles centuries before Christ taught it, but I don’t think anyone had a harder job getting the message out than Jesus.

He had to teach this Truth to some of the most stiff-necked and spiritually “deaf” people who have ever existed. And He did it knowing full well that these same people whose lives He was returning to them would cause him great suffering and physical agony because of it. That, my friends, is a Savior.

I participate in Christmas. I buy gifts, and decorate inside like a child’s Christmas wonderland. But, make no mistake, it’s about Santa Claus, and Rudolf, and Frosty – not Jesus. No, Jesus is a part of my life every day – the embodiment of Divine Love and Compassion that I work to emulate, and to fully experience and radiate to others. I have not yet reached that place where I am fully THAT, but I press forward.

The names for the power of Christ are many; different in every culture. But the power and Truth are still ONE. Sadly, though, because of the different names and approaches to the same power, many people have been killed and persecuted. I pray that some day this will cease.

Christmas is a fun time, and I love it. But I do not confuse it with being spiritual, with experiencing the Truth…and living it every day; THAT is a spiritual life. If you require a reminder in December to think upon your personal Savior, then you have reduced that power to an “event,” no more alive or transforming than the soulless, magnetic letters on the Church sign.

Enjoy Christmas for the fun of it – the child-like wonderment of gifts from Santa and flying Reindeer. There’s nothing wrong with that. And celebrate what Jesus gave to man, too, but don’t retire Him when the decorations come down. Every day that that you are given is Christ, (by whatever name you have experienced the Divine). Christ isn’t once-a-year. He IS…ALWAYS. Likewise, seek that presence in your life EVERY DAY.

Many Blessings To All…

“Unknown is What It Is…”

“The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everyone scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions,  wars, peace, love, hate, and all that. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it’s unknown, and it’s plain sailing.” – John Lennon

“Is” is unknown. Try as you might, you will never be able to comprehend it, to file it away as a concrete fact that you can pull forth as needed.

IS is the inner “I,” the ultimate, Supreme, un-manifest Self which constitutes everything. No amount of brain power will ever be able to take it from being unknown to being known – and that scares a lot of people.

But to accept that it is unknown allows you the opportunity to experience the essence of that great mystery, and its essence is ETERNAL LOVE. To experience this is to erase all fear – to burn it up in the flame of imperishable Truth. Seeking, and chasing, and fighting, and worrying have no place there; only freedom and bliss and love exist in Truth.

It is unknown…take your over-worked and feverish brain off the job. Then, in peaceful acceptance of this “unknown,” you can take refuge within it, and experience the warm, comforting embrace of what “is.”

Many Blessings To All…

“Well, I Guess You Can’t Break Out of Prison and Into Society in the Same Week…”

What a great line.

Movie trivia buffs may recognize this line from the 1939 Western, Stagecoach, uttered with a poetic and powerful drawl by one Marion Robert Morrison, the man who history has given us as “the Duke,” John Wayne.

John Wayne…a living, breathing enigma – a veritable force of nature – and the embodiment of absolutely everything that I dreamed the human male was meant to be.

He was tall, strong, honest, hard-working, dangerous, intimidating, gentle and loving…all wrapped up in a swagger that left no questions unanswered. He never had to say a word for his intent to be perfectly clear. I’ve witnessed more than a few people strolling down sidewalks and byways who have cultivated certain styles of walking, usually designed to convey a level of “badness,” and they all look pretty comical compared to the powerful, no-nonsense presence that was on display in the easy gait of the Duke. Even more amazing, his presence was no less formidable when he wasn’t in front of the cameras. Whatever “it” is, he had it.

I attempted to emulate that “larger-than-life” persona during my early/mid teen years, but I couldn’t really pull it off. I was a bookworm, and I avoided confrontation, (I had enough of that at home). I wasn’t “bad” enough to be in prison, and I wasn’t “cool” enough to break into society. My specialty was invisibility, and as I think back upon my social calendar during those years, I must have been damn good at it. I didn’t like the fact that I failed to be John Wayne back then, but thank God I did fail at it. As it turns out, I’m the best “me” that I have ever encountered – no one’s better at it. And that is the greatest blessing – being YOU – because the world needed a YOU. It already had a John Wayne.

I did break out of prison…the moment that I stopped attempting to be someone else. And I did break into society…the moment that I realized that society wouldn’t be the same without me. I have gifts that are needed to make the whole thing…whole. And so do you. My inability to be John Wayne is what turned me “inward,” starting me on the path of spiritual seeking at a young age, and that has been a source of blessing to many people. If I had a “swagger,” I might have had more dates, but that would have helped far fewer people.

So, if you’re trying to be someone who isn’t you, it’s time for you to “break out of prison.” If you have a mentor or a guide for your life-direction, that’s great – but society still needs YOU to be YOU. You are no less valuable than any other living soul, and if you play the role that you were designed to play, you are already a massive success story.

Don’t be afraid. It’s OK to be you, and to follow the dream for your life that has been placed in your heart. Fearless, patient, persistent faith, that’s all it takes.

Many Blessings To All…

 

“Living Words…”

“Write what is in your heart, and finish what you start.”

I’ve read and heard this admonition to those who are, (or desire to be), writers many times. I did that with my book, and I have done it on this blog. But, this blog will never be “finished.”

I suppose that I could decide to just stop writing, or fall over dead, so it would be “finished” in that regard, but as long as I continue to write it, it can never be finished; it has no beginning, middle, and end, so to speak. Each day that this body is imbued with life is another brush with the unknown, and change, and new things to share. To NOT write, for me, is to waste a precious commodity – a life. This blog, as strange as it may sound, is an entity in and of itself, that lives and grows as long as I continue to live and grow.

But, it isn’t the same entity as me; it is a reflection of that part of me that cannot be seen in a mirror, (for the most part, anyway).  It is a spiritual mirror, providing a glimpse of what lies beneath the surface of the stormy sea.

If you didn’t, (or don’t), know me physically, the words of the many posts in this blog would still have an energy of life, and you would form a “portrait” of who I am in your mind. And this “portrait” would quite likely bear no resemblance to me in any way, shape, or form. Therefore, it is, as I wrote earlier, a separate entity.

To use an analogy from Biology, I am the physical “host” of the energy of this organism, this blog, and it can only be seen or known through what is portrayed here in words – snippets of thoughts, poetry, and wisdom. Keeping with the medical analogies, the words within these blog posts “present” sets of symptoms and conditions and you, the attending physician, are left to make your own interpretation of what “it” is. And the odds are very high that each of you will arrive at a different conclusion. So, in truth, the words that you read here are phantoms – changing shapes, colors, and meanings like a chameleon to blend synergistically with each soul that reads them.

Having said all of that, I am ONE, not two. Which one am I? I am the energy of the words written in this blog, NOT the physical form that hosts this energy and gives expression to its thoughts. The painting itself is of no consequence; it is the energy and feeling that the painting evokes that is “true.”

Much to consider, and contemplate. I encourage you, AGAIN, to “write what is in your heart.” You are the”host” of something incredibly powerful, and it waits to be expressed.

Many Blessings To All…