It was a beautiful, powerful scene.
Frodo Baggins, the hero of the The Lord of The Rings, looking back at his friends…those who had walked through the fires with him…after he had boarded the ship that would take him to his blissful rest…with a smile of exquisite peace and relief.
How much this scene calls to me I cannot even begin to express.
I have been the warrior. I have faced and dealt death, but there are no comrades to look back upon. Why? Secrets.
So many secrets. Secrets about which I signed papers and swore that I would never divulge. And I haven’t…and never will. Such is integrity. But it is also very lonely.
Veteran’s Day. I hate it. I want no part of it, because my service doesn’t “fit” the mold. I cannot point to Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Vietnam, and say “this is what I did,” because what I did was during the “Cold War;” nameless places that, though unknown, laid the groundwork for the success that we have had in those wars.
I cannot tell my wife…I cannot tell my therapist…I cannot tell ANYONE. That was the agreement, and I will not violate that trust. But, as I said, it is very lonely.
Is it ego that desires to be known and “belong.?” Of course it is. Yet, in what is a great irony, I am a spiritual powerhouse that is fully aware of the meaningless of my ego’s selfish desires.
Perhaps this is what makes a “sage;” being able to straddle both worlds at the same time…to acknowledge the “lower” while embracing the “higher.”
This blog entry has no purpose…just opening a window to get some air. In the end, I WILL look back with a blissful smile, even if there is no one there to see it. I have given all that I have – what more is there?
Many blessings To All…